


Because I Do

by missberryisbest



Category: The Magicians (TV), The Magicians - Lev Grossman
Genre: Best Friends, Brotp, F/M, I just had a lot of feels about Julia being there for this scene, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Julia and Q are best friends not in love, M/M, References to Depression, SPOILERS ABOUND, canon divergent at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 07:27:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17956184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missberryisbest/pseuds/missberryisbest
Summary: Julia's perspective on the scene in 4x06 where Q confronts the monster.Come on, we all know Julia put two and two together in that scene, Q is her best friend, she figured some stuff out and they HAVE to talk through it eventually, but first Q just needs a damn hug.





	Because I Do

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Q yelled, rushing forward. Julia hurried behind him. Seeing the monster with the pain meds, the glint of an addict in his eyes.

“Stop it, Jesus” Quentin muttered, smacking the bottle away, almost as though he couldn’t stop himself. Julia couldn’t believe it, she gasped as the meds flew out of the monster’s hands. It was too aggressive, he was the one who told her how you had to move slowly and carefully around the Monster, especially now, when they didn’t have a real way to fight back. 

She felt useless, powerless, flexing her fingers as the monster batted Q into the side table with a casual wave. Not caring that her feet were bare she rushed to just touch him, trying to offer a bit of comfort, to check on him- hoping that she could get him to calm down, even just a little. 

Quentin was upset, more upset than she had thought he would be. Crumpled down, unable to even make himself look at the monster, but still trying to get the point through “THOSE PILLS CAN KILL YOU!” he shouted, desperation tingeing his voice. 

“I’ll take a new body, I’m bored” the monster muttered, pawing at the floor, collecting scattered pills with hands that almost seemed to be shaking. 

“You kill Eliot, and you can forget about us helping you” Quentin bit out. Wincing in pain, he forced himself up, staggered forward. Julia froze, shocked. But then she started to understand, at least she thought she did. He was fixated, he needed a reason to go on, and he loved his friends. Loved them recklessly and foolishly and wholly. If he didn’t have this to hold on to, to work towards, then he felt like he had nothing. 

He faced off with the monster so desperately, but with so much strength, his bravery mixed with a high level of just not giving a fuck anymore. 

Slowly starting to stand and move forward, gait as sinuous and tense as a predator, the monster dropped the pills. “Eliot, Eliot, Eliot. Why do you care about him so much?” the monster growled, an undertone of jealousy behind each word. 

Q moved forward, mirroring the monster’s aggression “Because I do. You kill him, and we are done” he said, trying to keep his voice steady, but Julia heard it break. She heard the pain, and it was like her best friend’s heart was coming into focus in her mind. 

“I swear to God, I am serious. I will abandon you. And I will die trying to burn you to the ground.” Quentin’s voice got stronger with every word, rage making him vibrate where he stood.

_“Jesus Christ, he’s not fucking around”_ Julia thought _“he really doesn’t care beyond getting Eliot free”_. No one would be able to doubt that he meant every word, down to the core of his being. 

“That’s cute. But I’m strong. And you’re weak.” the monster said as he got up in Q’s space, a glimmer of a smile appearing, wrapping his hands around Q’s throat. Applying just a bit of pressure. Julia started to panic, not knowing what she could do. _“Mutant powers my ass,"_ she thought _"I’m pretty sure if he ripped me apart no lingering goddess juju would put me back together”_ She had never felt less powerful, and her chest started to ache. 

“Break my bones. Strangle me. I’m too tired to care anymore.” Q stated, staring directly into the eyes of the monster. Anger and honesty dripped out of every word, even as Q gasped at the tightening of the monster’s hands around his throat, not fighting at all against the pressure. 

“Q” Julia breathed out, everything stilling in and around her. She knew that tone of voice, she knew what those words meant, what had happened before when he was in this place. 

“You hurt him- you take one more pill- and you can build your body on your own.” Rage, desperation, bravery, they all mixed in Quentin’s voice, but when Julia looked down she saw how his clenched fists were trembling. 

Everything stopped as the monster started to growl, low in the back of his throat. Tightening his grip and getting louder and louder. Julia tried with everything in her to just _will_ him to not call Q’s bluff, because she knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Q was not lying. He was done. 

“Fine. I’ll take better care of the meat suit. But you don’t have to be such a baby about it.” The monster muttered, letting Q go before turning and stalking away. 

Quentin paused and then folded in on himself. He looked so vulnerable, his eyes darting everywhere but at Jules, because he knew that now he had exposed the piece that would make the puzzle complete. He knew that now she saw. And she did. 

Suddenly it all made sense. Flashing back over the past few weeks everything he had been saying fell into place- Julia had always known that Q felt a connection to Eliot, that’s why she made sure to gently remind him about the consequences of dousing the monster with the stone’s blood. She remembered the hopelessness in his eyes when he resignedly said “Eliot’s dead” back to her. 

Then the tentative joy mixed with pain when he blurted out “Eliot’s alive” the minute the monster left them with Shoshanna and Iris’s bodies in the park. The nod, the shaking breath he took before having to say it again. “He’s alive” Almost as if to reassure himself. 

The sudden energy Q had now that had been missing, but that bordered on manic at times. 

“I’m team Eliot” he had stated to Alice, thinking she hadn’t heard, but she had. She wasn’t about to leave him completely out of both eyesight and earshot when that unbalanced narcissist was around. 

“It’s Eliot” was all he had said to every doubt she had voiced, every reason she came up with why what he was saying wasn't smart. 

So now she knew. Maybe not every detail, but she knew how deeply and truly Quentin was in love with Eliot. Way more than his long-gone crush on her, and different than the bond he shared with Alice, but just as strong, if not more so. 

Reaching out, she grabbed one of his clenched fists, eased the fingers open and slid her own hand in-between. Providing the limited form of comfort she could without magic and with the monster just outside the door. With her other hand she touched his cheek and turned his face until he was looking at her. Until his darting eyes had to look at her. 

“Because you do” is all she said, all she needed to say. Wrapping her arms around him she pressed her head to his chest. 

“Because I do” Quentin choked out, breaking down. He cried in his best friend’s embrace as he hadn’t let himself do in as long as he could seem to remember. As he hadn’t when his dad died, when he thought Eliot was dead, when Brian saw the monster kill person after person. It reminded him of how he had cried in Eliot’s arms when Alice was gone. But this wasn’t the same, she wasn’t Eliot. And neither was that thing in the other room. So he just got swept up in the many emotions that were swirling around his troubled head, and he let go. Feeling a tremble he looked down and saw that Julia was crying, too. 

She knew that they would have to talk about it, that Q needed to get shaken out of this passively suicidal head space. He couldn’t just go around playing chicken with monsters the gods fled from, not if they were going to end this, not if they were going to bring his Eliot back. She knew that he hadn’t wanted anyone to know, but she was still glad that it was her. Because she knew him, knew what all of this truly meant. So she would talk to him about it, and soon. But for now, for her best friend who was finally mourning something he felt he had lost, she could just stand there, his tears falling into her hair as hers soaked into his shirt.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't ship Julia and Q in anything but best friends forever, and if I went through what Q went through this ep, I'd need a damn hug from my BFF. First fic on A03, first Magicians fic, please give me kudos/comments if you want any more, I have smut ideas aplenty.


End file.
